Entropy: the gradual but unstoppable movement from order to chaos.
I wasn't expecting to reflect on this well known concept from physics. But, hey, I'm on vacation - I'm getting lots of time to reflect on things.
I was visiting a Temple this morning. It's not quite the case that "when you've seen one . . ." but there does develop a certain fatigue. A bit like the prospect of visiting yet another fabulous Chateau in the Loire Valley (must I?) or another fascinating medieval village church in rural France.
9.00am. We have already traveled for an hour on the truck and here we are at (another) Temple: bemused monks (from 7 to 70), snarling deities painted in garish relief on sacred shrine walls, prayer wheels rotating, the faintly soothing chant of devout monks of millennial old verses and a decaying temple structure.
Now I am not a Buddhist so the contents of these temples hold no religious significance for me. The same can be said (for me) of the grand Catholic cathedrals; but at least the craftsmanship there commands reverence and respect. Bold architectural realisations, paintings of the grand masters, ornate gold and silver work, intricate carvings in hard wood and more. But the temples: the majority seem to be crumbling before our very eyes.
I asked why they were not restored? maintained? respected?
I got a Buddhist answer: everything in life is impermanent. All is decay. That is why detachment is so important. if you're adoring the structures you've already missed the point.
It made me stop and think.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday 20 October 2011
Tuesday 11 October 2011
Too soon old, too late smart - Thirty true things you need to know now
This is a little slim volume written by Gordon Livingstone, a psychiatrist who has spent his professional career providing psychotherapy to his patients. He distills a broad range of professional insight with a personal story filled with tragedy, the loss of not one but two children.
I have picked a few of the ideas that particularly caught my eye and my reaction to them.
1. People to avoid, and qualities to nurture in ourselves and seek in others - the notion of avoiding certain people goes against the grain of the typically Christian ethos many of us were taught. But Livingstone is emphatic - an ability to recognise these traits (and avoid them) would save a lot of heartbreak, he maintains. The quality he most promotes is kindness - the ability to give of oneself to another. (I reckon the Dalai Lama would agree (although he might prefer lovingkindness, the close english translation of a vital Buddhist notion).
2. We are what we do - which he paraphrases as "when all is said and done, more is said than done". Need I say more? (Livingstone does add that we are entitled to receive only what we are prepared to give. Now there's a challenging thought.)
3. Logic won't shift something not established by logic - confronting deeply held feelings with logic just does not work. Criticism, in particular is destructive, begetting only anger and unhappiness. We must identify our own emotional needs and those of the ones we love. (how often do we stop and reflect on this before plunging in with size 14 boots?)
4. The statue of limitations has expired on our childhood traumas - this is not to deny they happened but insists that WE (no one else) are responsible for most of what happens to us (if only in how we react to what life throws our way).
5. Life's two most important questions are Why? and Why not? The trick is knowing which one to ask - to take risks in pursuit of a goal is an act of courage. To refuse to take them, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of despair. (Playing safe is far easier than being brave).
6. The most secure prisons are the ones we construct for ourselves - before we do anything, we must be able to imagine it. Then we have to take the plunge. (All about getting out of the Comfort Zone and into the Stretch Zone)
7. The only real paradises are the ones we have lost - to know someone fully and love them in spite of, even because of, their imperfections is an act that requires us to recognise and forgive, two very important indicators of emotional maturity. More important is the fact that, if we can do this for other people, we may be able to do it for ourselves. (It's too easy to imagine some other 'perfect' individual - the right thing is to face imperfection, our own and others)
Yeah, yeah, yeah! is probably the easiest reaction. Taking the two above (or picking from the other 23 in the book) that present the biggest personal challenge - and doing something about it - surely, is the way to go?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I have picked a few of the ideas that particularly caught my eye and my reaction to them.
1. People to avoid, and qualities to nurture in ourselves and seek in others - the notion of avoiding certain people goes against the grain of the typically Christian ethos many of us were taught. But Livingstone is emphatic - an ability to recognise these traits (and avoid them) would save a lot of heartbreak, he maintains. The quality he most promotes is kindness - the ability to give of oneself to another. (I reckon the Dalai Lama would agree (although he might prefer lovingkindness, the close english translation of a vital Buddhist notion).
2. We are what we do - which he paraphrases as "when all is said and done, more is said than done". Need I say more? (Livingstone does add that we are entitled to receive only what we are prepared to give. Now there's a challenging thought.)
3. Logic won't shift something not established by logic - confronting deeply held feelings with logic just does not work. Criticism, in particular is destructive, begetting only anger and unhappiness. We must identify our own emotional needs and those of the ones we love. (how often do we stop and reflect on this before plunging in with size 14 boots?)
4. The statue of limitations has expired on our childhood traumas - this is not to deny they happened but insists that WE (no one else) are responsible for most of what happens to us (if only in how we react to what life throws our way).
5. Life's two most important questions are Why? and Why not? The trick is knowing which one to ask - to take risks in pursuit of a goal is an act of courage. To refuse to take them, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of despair. (Playing safe is far easier than being brave).
6. The most secure prisons are the ones we construct for ourselves - before we do anything, we must be able to imagine it. Then we have to take the plunge. (All about getting out of the Comfort Zone and into the Stretch Zone)
7. The only real paradises are the ones we have lost - to know someone fully and love them in spite of, even because of, their imperfections is an act that requires us to recognise and forgive, two very important indicators of emotional maturity. More important is the fact that, if we can do this for other people, we may be able to do it for ourselves. (It's too easy to imagine some other 'perfect' individual - the right thing is to face imperfection, our own and others)
Yeah, yeah, yeah! is probably the easiest reaction. Taking the two above (or picking from the other 23 in the book) that present the biggest personal challenge - and doing something about it - surely, is the way to go?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Bhanu Path,Gangtok,India
Monday 29 August 2011
Ommmmmmmm! The proven benefits of meditation
It's official - meditation can physically change the brain in astonishing ways.Several studies suggest that these changes through meditation can make you happier, less stressed -- even nicer to other people. It can help you control your eating habits and even reduce chronic pain, all the while without taking prescription medication.
And if you want evidence that the brain is capable of change, check out a book titles "The brain that changes itself" - fascinating reading.
I learned transcendental meditation in college (a trendy thing at the time). One of the hardest things to learn then was simply 'to let go'. Imagine a Type A sitting in the half lotus position, eyes squeezed shut, brow furrowed, hissing "I'm definitely going to let go!" (that was me!) - and you realise that the idea of 'passive volition' is real easy to describe - but much harder to practice.
(I googled 'passive volition' and came across the following description of meditative states which I quite liked (and can identify with):
(You know what's coming?) I simply dropped into my meditation routine and within seconds was declared the winner. Large flat screens above our heads confirmed that as soon as I started to meditate, the brain activity fell like a stone into a relaxed state. Q.E.D.?
Just be.
:-)
And if you want evidence that the brain is capable of change, check out a book titles "The brain that changes itself" - fascinating reading.
I learned transcendental meditation in college (a trendy thing at the time). One of the hardest things to learn then was simply 'to let go'. Imagine a Type A sitting in the half lotus position, eyes squeezed shut, brow furrowed, hissing "I'm definitely going to let go!" (that was me!) - and you realise that the idea of 'passive volition' is real easy to describe - but much harder to practice.
(I googled 'passive volition' and came across the following description of meditative states which I quite liked (and can identify with):
- phschophysiologic receptivity (am I prepared to have this experience?)
- (meditation begins)
- boredom (!)
- distracting thoughts
- deep relaxation
- detached observation
- supraconsciousness
(You know what's coming?) I simply dropped into my meditation routine and within seconds was declared the winner. Large flat screens above our heads confirmed that as soon as I started to meditate, the brain activity fell like a stone into a relaxed state. Q.E.D.?
Just be.
:-)
Thursday 18 August 2011
Find happiness in the job you have now.
I like the following advice:
Many people expect the right job or the right career to dramatically change their level of happiness, but happiness research makes it clear that your level of optimism and the quality of your relationships eclipse the satisfaction you gain from your job.
If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job, and if you have good relationships with people, you won't depend on your job to give your life a greater sense of meaning. You'll find it in your interactions with the people you care about. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't aspire towards a job that will make you happier; it means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small in comparison to your outlook on life and your relationships with people.
Saturday 13 August 2011
John Lennon gets it right - again. . .
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
John Lennon
John Lennon
Monday 25 July 2011
Taking time to reflect
Did it ever strike you that, with our lives so busy, we never seem to have the time simply "to be"? or to reflect on the day?
I came across these 7 questions that act as a good prompt:
I came across these 7 questions that act as a good prompt:
- What NEW THING did I learn today? What action can I take on that learning point?
- Did I do a good job today of LISTENING first? What could I have done to be a better listener?
- What mistake did I make today that could be avoided next time in a similar situation?
- How did I add value today? To whom did I add value? Looking back on the day, what value opportunity did I miss?
- Did I demonstrate love for my family today -- my spouse, my kids. What opportunity to demonstrate love did I miss?
- Did I have an opportunity to give today? What exactly did I give? How did it feel? Looking back on the day, what "gifting" opportunity did I miss?
- Did I discover anything new about myself today? What will I do with that information?
Friday 22 July 2011
Is there a split between mind and body, and if so, which is it better to have?
Woody Allen has some good lines - and I like this wry observation questioning the split between mind and body.
In her book "Mindfulness" the Harvard professor of psychology warns about the dangers of 'dualism', the notion that mind and body are separate. One example she cites is of a patient in a psychiatric hospital who lived on what was affectionately known as the 'hopeless ward'. Renovations forced the patient to be moved to another ward where patients typically did better and returned to the community.The patient got better. Once the renovations were completed, the patient was returned to the old 'hopeless ward' - and died immediately afterwards from no apparent physical cause.
A fascinating study documents how patients under hypnosis were able to rid themselves of warts through thought alone; to reinforce the power of thinking, a further study demonstrated how the majority of patients instructed under hypnosis to get rid the warts on one side of their body succeeded in doing so!
Langer presents a compelling case to
In her book "Mindfulness" the Harvard professor of psychology warns about the dangers of 'dualism', the notion that mind and body are separate. One example she cites is of a patient in a psychiatric hospital who lived on what was affectionately known as the 'hopeless ward'. Renovations forced the patient to be moved to another ward where patients typically did better and returned to the community.The patient got better. Once the renovations were completed, the patient was returned to the old 'hopeless ward' - and died immediately afterwards from no apparent physical cause.
A fascinating study documents how patients under hypnosis were able to rid themselves of warts through thought alone; to reinforce the power of thinking, a further study demonstrated how the majority of patients instructed under hypnosis to get rid the warts on one side of their body succeeded in doing so!
Langer presents a compelling case to
- exchange unhealthy mindsets for healthy ones ("this cancer will kill me" exchanged with "my resourceful body will draw on my considerable resources of my immune system and good cells will kill the cancerous ones"), and,
- increasing a generally mindful state (a dramatic experiment demonstrates the power of mindfulness. 70+ year olds who participated in an experiment to live as they had 20 years earlier (with the mindset of 50+ year olds) showed significant improvements mentally and physically: after the experiment they were judged (independently) to look 3 years younger, their resting heart rate and blood pressure decreased, their hand strength improved, and their cognitive functions scored higher. The conclusion: our mindsets can limit us or can liberate us. The choice is for us to make.
Sunday 10 July 2011
I'll be happy when . . . . :-(
I came across a good piece this morning on the above:
Having spent many years working with people trying to find happiness (and achieve various forms of success) I’ve discovered that one of the main obstacles to happiness is what I’ve come to call "the tyranny of when": the phenomenon we’ve all experienced at some time or other when we say to ourselves (or to others) that "I’ll be happy when...when I have more money, when I have a bigger house, when I have a better job, when I lose some weight, when I find the love of my life, when [insert pretty much anything you like in here]".
There’s nothing inherently wrong with aspiring to be and to have more, the problem for many people is that (for a variety of reasons) they never get there; and even if they do, they then think of something else that they "need" before they can really feel happy.
In recent years positive psychologists have come to refer to this as the "hedonic treadmill" which is a great metaphor likening the experience to one where we’re constantly running, as though on a treadmill chasing that carrot, and never actually getting anywhere! As a result, we don’t every really get to experience as much joy or satisfaction as we’d like but, even worse than not experiencing positive emotions like happiness, such an approach to life can actually cause us to feel frustrated, disappointed and downright miserable (how else would you feel if you frequently imagined a wonderful reward or prize but never quite got your hands on it?).
(For the theory and evidence behind this approach, check out the American academic, Professor Barbara Fredrickson, for the "broaden and build theory of positive emotions").
Remedy?
Live in the present.
Cherish what we have.
Express gratitude.
. . . after a while the same messages appear again and again. The trick is to practice them a lttle more every day.
One voice please !
I caught up with a super talk on TED today and decided it just had to be shared:
http://www.ted.com/talks/eric_whitacre_a_virtual_choir_2_000_voices_strong.html?utm_source=newsletter_weekly_2011-07-06&utm_campaign=newsletter_weekly&utm_medium=email
How could you not be happy after enjoying this?
http://www.ted.com/talks/eric_whitacre_a_virtual_choir_2_000_voices_strong.html?utm_source=newsletter_weekly_2011-07-06&utm_campaign=newsletter_weekly&utm_medium=email
How could you not be happy after enjoying this?
Thursday 7 July 2011
A challenging daily checklist
Here's a checklist that I liked (to be asked at the start of each day):
- I’ve reminded myself of my most important personal goals
- I’m clear on my priorities for the day
- I have an exercise slot planned in my diary– and I’ll do it!
- I’ve planned to eat healthily (and limit alcohol)
- I intend to practice meditation/relaxation
- I will not accept unhelpful, negative thoughts
- I’m confident today will be a good day
- I’m hopeful for the future
- I’m grateful for the people in my life
- I intend to praise at least one person today
- I’m determined to find ways to use my strengths
- I’m going to have fun
- I will laugh and smile
- I will endeavour to be in the moment as much as possible
- I’ll savour all positive experiences
Pursuit of Happiness
The purpose of this blog is to share insights on happiness.
Sounds corny?
Up to recently I would have thought so. But some recent reading and viewing has changed my mind. Two pieces of research struck me particularly:
- first, research (not mere conjecture, but hard scientific evidence) has established that about 50% of our happiness is genetically determined; 10% is impacted by personal circumstances (winning the lottery, a major disappointment and so on) and a staggering 40% is accounted for by the way we choose to interpret the world around us. 40% !! Furthermore, while a particular circumstance can increase or decrease our happiness dramatically, we tend to return to the same 'setpoint' of happiness after a relatively short while.
- in the period 1967 to 2000 nearly every piece of research in psychology was focussed on illness issues (suicide, anger, depression etc). Wellness issues (joy, contentment, happiness, fulfilment etc) simply did not rate. This has changed dramatically in the last decade with the emergence of the Positive Psychology movement.
The purpose of this blog is to share insights on happiness - from Positive Psychology and from personal experience.
To stimulate some discussion, I plan to circulate a recent DVD called 'Happy' which showcases research on the topic.
Bob
Sounds corny?
Up to recently I would have thought so. But some recent reading and viewing has changed my mind. Two pieces of research struck me particularly:
- first, research (not mere conjecture, but hard scientific evidence) has established that about 50% of our happiness is genetically determined; 10% is impacted by personal circumstances (winning the lottery, a major disappointment and so on) and a staggering 40% is accounted for by the way we choose to interpret the world around us. 40% !! Furthermore, while a particular circumstance can increase or decrease our happiness dramatically, we tend to return to the same 'setpoint' of happiness after a relatively short while.
- in the period 1967 to 2000 nearly every piece of research in psychology was focussed on illness issues (suicide, anger, depression etc). Wellness issues (joy, contentment, happiness, fulfilment etc) simply did not rate. This has changed dramatically in the last decade with the emergence of the Positive Psychology movement.
The purpose of this blog is to share insights on happiness - from Positive Psychology and from personal experience.
To stimulate some discussion, I plan to circulate a recent DVD called 'Happy' which showcases research on the topic.
Bob
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