Monday 25 July 2011

Taking time to reflect

Did it ever strike you that, with our lives so busy, we never seem to have the time simply "to be"? or to reflect on the day?

I came across these 7 questions that act as a good prompt:
  • What NEW THING did I learn today? What action can I take on that learning point?
  • Did I do a good job today of LISTENING first? What could I have done to be a better listener?
  • What mistake did I make today that could be avoided next time in a similar situation?
  • How did I add value today? To whom did I add value? Looking back on the day, what value opportunity did I miss?
  • Did I demonstrate love for my family today -- my spouse, my kids. What opportunity to demonstrate love did I miss?
  • Did I have an opportunity to give today? What exactly did I give? How did it feel? Looking back on the day, what "gifting" opportunity did I miss?
  • Did I discover anything new about myself today? What will I do with that information?
Can you think of any other really good questions to ask?

Friday 22 July 2011

Is there a split between mind and body, and if so, which is it better to have?

Woody Allen has some good lines - and I like this wry observation questioning the split between mind and body.

In her book "Mindfulness" the Harvard professor of psychology warns about the dangers of 'dualism', the notion that mind and body are separate.  One example she cites is of a patient in a psychiatric hospital who lived on what was affectionately known as the 'hopeless ward'. Renovations forced the patient to be moved to another ward where patients typically did better and returned to the community.The patient got better.  Once the renovations were completed, the patient was returned to the old 'hopeless ward' - and died immediately afterwards from no apparent physical cause.

A fascinating study documents how patients under hypnosis were able to rid themselves of warts through thought alone; to reinforce the power of thinking, a further study demonstrated how the majority of patients instructed under hypnosis to get rid the warts on one side of their body succeeded in doing so!

Langer presents a compelling case to
  • exchange unhealthy mindsets for healthy ones ("this cancer will kill me" exchanged with "my resourceful body will draw on my considerable resources of my immune system and good cells will kill the cancerous ones"), and,
  • increasing a generally mindful state (a dramatic experiment demonstrates the power of mindfulness.  70+ year olds who participated in an experiment to live as they had 20 years earlier (with the mindset of 50+ year olds) showed significant improvements mentally and physically: after the experiment they were judged (independently) to look 3 years younger, their resting heart rate and blood pressure decreased, their hand strength improved, and their cognitive functions scored higher.  The conclusion: our mindsets can limit us or can liberate us.  The choice is for us to make.
Food for thought.

Sunday 10 July 2011

I'll be happy when . . . . :-(


I came across a good piece this morning on the above:

Having spent many years working with people trying to find happiness (and achieve various forms of success) I’ve discovered that one of the main obstacles to happiness is what I’ve come to call "the tyranny of when": the phenomenon we’ve all experienced at some time or other when we say to ourselves (or to others) that "I’ll be happy when...when I have more money, when I have a bigger house, when I have a better job, when I lose some weight, when I find the love of my life, when [insert pretty much anything you like in here]".

There’s nothing inherently wrong with aspiring to be and to have more, the problem for many people is that (for a variety of reasons) they never get there; and even if they do, they then think of something else that they "need" before they can really feel happy.

In recent years positive psychologists have come to refer to this as the "hedonic treadmill" which is a great metaphor likening the experience to one where we’re constantly running, as though on a treadmill chasing that carrot, and never actually getting anywhere! As a result, we don’t every really get to experience as much joy or satisfaction as we’d like but, even worse than not experiencing positive emotions like happiness, such an approach to life can actually cause us to feel frustrated, disappointed and downright miserable (how else would you feel if you frequently imagined a wonderful reward or prize but never quite got your hands on it?).

(For the theory and evidence behind this approach, check out the American academic, Professor Barbara Fredrickson, for the "broaden and build theory of positive emotions").

Remedy?

Live in the present.

Cherish what we have.

Express gratitude.

. . . after a while the same messages appear again and again.  The trick is to practice them a lttle more every day.

One voice please !

I caught up with a super talk on TED today and decided it just had to be shared:

http://www.ted.com/talks/eric_whitacre_a_virtual_choir_2_000_voices_strong.html?utm_source=newsletter_weekly_2011-07-06&utm_campaign=newsletter_weekly&utm_medium=email


How could you not be happy after enjoying this?

Thursday 7 July 2011

"Happy" DVD

FOr those who have seen this DVD, please post your comments on it here

A challenging daily checklist

Here's a checklist that I liked (to be asked at the start of each day): 
  • I’ve reminded myself of my most important personal goals
  • I’m clear on my priorities for the day
  • I have an exercise slot planned  in my diary– and I’ll do it!
  • I’ve planned to eat healthily (and limit alcohol)
  • I intend to practice meditation/relaxation
  • I will not accept unhelpful, negative thoughts
  • I’m confident today will be a good day
  • I’m hopeful for the future
  • I’m grateful for the people in my life
  • I intend to praise at least one person today
  • I’m determined to find ways to use my strengths
  • I’m going to have fun
  • I will laugh and smile
  • I will endeavour to be in the moment as much as possible
  • I’ll savour all positive experiences

Pursuit of Happiness

The purpose of this blog is to share insights on happiness.

Sounds corny?

Up to recently I would have thought so.  But some recent reading and viewing has changed my mind. Two pieces of research struck me particularly:

- first, research (not mere conjecture, but hard scientific evidence) has established that about 50% of our happiness is genetically determined; 10% is impacted by personal circumstances (winning the lottery, a major disappointment and so on) and a staggering 40% is accounted for by the way we choose to interpret the world around us.  40% !! Furthermore, while a particular circumstance can increase or decrease our happiness dramatically, we tend to return to the same 'setpoint' of happiness after a relatively short while.

- in the period 1967 to 2000 nearly every piece of research in psychology was focussed on illness issues (suicide, anger, depression etc).  Wellness issues (joy, contentment, happiness, fulfilment etc) simply did not rate. This has changed dramatically in the last decade with the emergence of the Positive Psychology movement.

The purpose of this blog is to share insights on happiness - from Positive Psychology and from personal experience.

To stimulate some discussion, I plan to circulate a recent DVD called 'Happy' which showcases research on the topic.

Bob